How is your memory? Lately Gaga has convinced herself that she is losing hers – though losing her mind is probably more accurate, given her current obsessions with all things beady.

According to Norman Wisdom as you get older, three things happen:

The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two…

Everyone has had one of those blood-stopping moments when some fundamental thing floats back into consciousness and you slap your hand over your mouth in horror at your own forgetfulness but to English playwright and actor John Osborne having a poor memory was not altogether a bad thing…

El que tiene mala memoria se ahorra muchos remordiniento

With my daughter staying overnight with a friend and the little guy tucked away at Gaga’s for the night, my lesser half and I were free from the little people on a Saturday night. Yipeee!

I can still remember when the vague whiff of freedom would have me galloping off to the nearest dancefloor but instead we opted for a sedate walk round Costa Del Silencio. The first place we meant to visit was shut and the second may as well have been as we were the only customers.

Just across the road at Coral Mar, El Botijo was doing very nicely. There was a good little buzz in the dining area and enough custom to keep Amanda busy in the kitchen. Manolo, from Gran Canaria sang and played guitar for the diners while Natalie and Paula kept them happily fed and watered (or wined).

Sitting in the bar area instead of the dining section we enjoyed listening to Natalie’s banter and watching Amanda cook up a storm. Guitar-playing Manolo sang his heart out for the diners and then came to the bar and sang some more. Unfortunately though I took lots of video of him and the girls, as well as of regulars Dennis, Ben-ben and Blackie, I accidentally formatted my camera card so can’t show you any of it. What a plonker!

So, my apologies to Manolo but you’ll just have to take my word for it. If you are visiting Costa Del Silencio and are looking for good food, served with a smile, and at a cost that won’t break the bank head for El Botijo in Coral Mar.

What is this latest nonsense from the PC brigade? Given their way, they would like to make it a crime to use any language that could be construed as offensive to gays and this includes in writing or within any part of the entertainment industry.

To me, you are gay or straight in the same way as you are tall or short, fat or thin, baldy or hirsuite, black or white. It’s part of your humanity and should therefore not be something has to be  tip-toed around like a big pink elephant in the middle of the room.

Bringing this prissy, over-protective rubbish into reality would have the likes of Kenneth Williams and Larry Grayson spinning in their graves and what’s more … it makes gays out to be victims or in need of special protection instead of quite big enough to fight their own battles, thank you.

Before long, the only humour we will be allowed legally will be kid’s limericks and that is only if they don’t feature any short, gay, Scottish, black tinkers in them.