Two interesting and related items caught my eye in the newspaper this morning.

The first says swearing helps you withstand pain.  No effing surprises there then.

On Saturday I was on top of my daughter’s stilted bed which is about four feet off the floor. In a rare bout of redecoration the kids’ room is getting a new look and the fiddly bits had fallen to me to do. So there I was with the mattress off standing on the slats with a can of lime green paint clutched in my hand. I was deeply into Zen paint mode when KRRRACK my foot went through the slats, my leg went through the bed quickly followed by my bum and the rest of my surprised body.

I suppose I could have shouted GOSH! or Oh My! But no, what came out my mouth would have turned the air blue round a gang of Glasgow dockers.  Did it help me withstand the pain? I’ve no idea but the fact that the lime green paint had also fallen through the bed but had landed  straight and hadn’t spilled a drop went a long way to soften the blow.

The other article concerned Dr Denis Walsh, associate professor in midwifery at Nottingham University who says:

… pain was a “rite of passage” which often helped regulate childbirth.

He dribbles on that the pain of childbirth helps strengthen a mother’s bond with her baby, and prepares her for the responsibility of motherhood.

Having had both my babies at the Green Clinic in Los Cristianos in the usual Spanish way – without any medication – all I can say to Dr. Denis is bollocks! I would like to see how much bonding he would achieve after an episiotomy, forceps assisted birth, hemorroids and 40 stiches in his nether region.

And how about swearing to help you withstand the pain of childbirth? Well, that is certainly something the prenatal classes could consider adding to their curriculum but as it happens I did most of my swearing after the blessed event when I turned to my husband and asked him what he had thought about the whole experience. “You nearly broke my fingers!” he whimpered demonstrating how viciously I had been clutching his hand through the process of bringing his son into the world.

WHAT! You *·”*·*”"*·*· !