Among the many other wonders in store during the Tenerife Design Festival 19 to 22 October you can expect the magical flying grass carpet to make an appearance.

The flying grass carpet makes its way from city to city around the globe briefly touching down to let city dwellers play and stretch out on it as well as being a temporary base for a variety of public events.

What a lovely idea. The picture shown is from the carpet’s short trip to Budapest but you can find many more on the Flying Grass website.

So are you all ready for Roddy then? Let’s just hope he didn’t book his hotel through Xcapewithus or he’s on a hiding to nothing. You know, with all the hype and Rod Stewart’s wizened mugshot gurning at you every time you turn around (sorry Gaga, but its true) I am surprised there are seats left. Maybe the concert will be stowed out but here we are late morning on Rod Stewart Eve and it looks like there are still seats aplenty on generaltickets.com.

After the security fiasco of the Elton John concert, don’t be surprised if there are beefy blocks of lard at five foot intervals round a three mile radius of Rod Stewart as he reprises his glory years (and ours, it has to be admitted). It will be like the raptor show at Aguilas Park. Don’t stand up during the show or you will get your head ripped off.

After the last red tartan scarf has fluttered to the floor read the Rod Stewart Concert Review on Joe Cawley’s blog. There is a reason the man is an award winning travel writer and with his Elton John review summarised by the immortal phrase, ‘…sugar and shite’, you can be sure his review will be as gritty and real as the lyrics of Dirty Old Town.

Me? I’m not going. I am waiting for U2

I don’t think Wilson Pickett is in town so if you have no prior committments why not indulge in a bit of pure nostalgia and belt out all your favourite hits from the classic movie The Committments at the Tenerife auditorium.

Scary to think the movie was released in 1991! I would have been about … ahhh… never mind. Anyway, tickets cost €20 from the box office or you can visit the Auditoria de Tenerife website for more information or groan along with Tenerife Matters in the pun-filled announcement of The Committments which they published way back in February.

In the meantime  just to get you in the mood here is a trailer for the Alan Parker film.

Pachumba Reggae Band, Tenerife – playing in Las Galletas as part of the free Diversity Multicultural Festival. They were the highlight of the night and if you get the chance to catch them – GO!

The vid is a bit buzzy which is a shame but you’ll get the idea of what a cool concert this was – and all for FREE.

Heavens above! I’ve never seen Gaga so excited. She’s gone bananas over this Rod Stewart concert and quite frankly I think I’ll be sitting as far away from her as I can get just in case she decides to do a Tom Jones and throw her knickers on the stage.

There’s a lot of buzz about free tickets and promotions  so if you are interested in getting your sticky mitts on some here’s the deal:

Número 1 Stores : get a free ticket to the Rod Stewart concert on May 16th 2009 when purchasing more than 150€ in any of the Número 1 stores.

Adrian Hoteles: Book your 2 or more nights stay in Adrian Hoteles and get a free ticket per person

Dreamplace: Get 2 free general tickets when booking any of there Dreamplace Hotels:
Dream Gran Tacande 5*, 2 nights or more.
Dream Noelia Sur 4*, 7 nights or more.
Dream Villa Tagoro 4*, 7 nights or more.
Jardin Tropical: Book your 7 night stay in Hotel Jardín Tropical and get a free ticket per person

Paradise Park: Book your one week-stay in the Hotel Paradise Park and you get a free ticket per person

Spring Hoteles: Book a one week  in one of the  Spring Hotels and you get a free ticket per person

Raffle of 50 tickets
Register at the Canary Festival website to get information about concerts organized by Canarias Live Sun Festival, and you participate automatically in the raffle of 50 tickets for the Rod Stewart Concert.

For more information on the concert you can also vist the official event website at Rod Stewart Tenerife.

Mago de Oz are the Celtic metal band responsible for the Costa Del Silencio song that had half the world turning up on Tenerife Tattle’s doorstep a while back. Wondering why all these lost souls landed on the blog from search engines using ‘Costa Del Silencio’ a search phrase that would bring them to information and articles and yet seemed to leave almost immediately afterwards, I found that in fact they were searching for the Mago de Oz song.

As part of their El Leyenda de la Mancha tour the band will be playing Tenerife (at Plaza Maritim in Santa Cruz and not in Costa Del Silencio sadly) on 23rd, Lanzarote on the 24th and Gran Canaria on the 25th of April.

The last release the band made is called ‘Ciudad de los Árboles’ which is intriguingly described as “.. un disco lleno de armonías ninfómanas…”. I can’t quite get my head round that one but nymphomaniacal or not, the music is brilliant.

If you are not familiar with the band or with Celtic metal for that matter, you can click on the Amazon wotsit below and see if the music tweaks your fiddle strings. The concert starts at 22:00, seats cost €18 and you can book tickets at General Tickets though you’ll have to search for the event once you get there because they make it stupidly difficult to link direct to particular events. (Or maybe it is difficult because I am stupid? No se. )

How could Sir David Jason, Del Boy to legions of Only Fools and Horses fans, have been such a plonker?

Never mind the silly uproar in the newspapers about his ‘Me hat, me coat’,  joke being, ‘…inappropriate’, it wasn’t funny! Coming from such a legendary comic, I am in shock!

Here is a funny inappropriate joke about a Scotsman from Roddy Martine:

Jimmy goes into a bar and asks for a single malt scotch.
The barman pours it and says ‘It’s an 18-year-old.’
Jimmy replies: ‘It’s awful wee for it’s age.’

And another inappropriate joke about some poor soul with a speech impediment courtesy of 19 year old entrepreneur Fraser Doherty:

Patient: Doctor, I can’t pronounce my F’s, T’s and H’s.
Doctor: Well you can’t say fairer than that then.

These and other jokes were compiled by and printed in The Scotsman last December as a way to forget the chill and the credit crunch under the headline Top Jokes to Cheer you Up.  Go and have a look. It’s worth a laugh.