So have I been living in a bubble lately or is this an April Fool’s Day joke that is running a bit behind schedule?

Much as I would love to see Tenerife become the centre of the Google galaxy, I find the news of Google Inc decamping to Granadilla de Abona as announced in a press release by Ars-Novum in Puerto de La Cruz just a little hard to swallow (okay, a LOT hard to swallow!).

Reasons given for the major move include changes  to media law by the Obama administration which will increase restrictions on the Youtube and Google video search channels and the imminent bankruptcy of the state of California.

The installation of the Network Access Point West Africa – Canary Islands is seen as one positive factor behind the move as is the possibility of harnessing green energy to run the internet giant’s service centre and the region’s low labour costs (you can say that again) and tax breaks.

While I find the story unlikely there can really only be three explanations for it, can’t there?

1. It is a badly timed April Fool’s Day joke.
2. It is a crafty PR exercise dreamt up by Ars-Novum to create some buzz about their company.
3. It is true!

Given the astronomical rise in unemployment in Tenerife since December 2009, I can’t think of better news for Tenerife than the investment in infrastructure and technology that a move like this would necessitate. It would also shift the economic reliance of the island and open it up to more sources of revenue than tourism and bananas

Much as I would LOVE this news to be true, I am not holding my breath. Are you?

Did you know that there have been several alien sightings in Tenerife?

Very late one cloudless night I even saw a UFO myself but by the time my hubby had  come out to see what I was shouting about, the mysterious and silent craft that were flying across the sky in perfect formation had disappeared. With no photo to prove it (or have dismissed as a weather balloon or whatever) and the memory of my hubby’s look of deepest worry as he pondered whether I had finally lost the last of my marbles, I shrugged off the strange sighting, putting it down in my mind to ‘military aircraft’.

I have always found the idea of aliens more comforting than scary. The thought that someone out there knows what the hell they are doing is quite pleasing. In my version of events, the aliens will let us get ourselves into the worst mess and then step in with the Germolene and lollipops right at the last minute saving us all from the course of destruction that we put ourselves on long ago.

Movies are never like that though are they. Except for that sweet one about all the wrinklies getting their groove back in the swimming pool of their old people’s home, Hollywood always has alien arrival accompanied by blood shed, plague, weather anomalies and planes dropping from the sky. (OMG! Maybe they are already here?)

The latest alien abduction movie, The Fourth Kind,  is no different. It focusses on the real life disappearance of several people from Nome, Alaska in the recent past. Even the recurrent and ongoing FBI investigations haven’t thrown any light on the mysterious goings on and so it must be aliens, right?

Of course the psychologist who winkles chilling subconscious memories from possible alien abductees just had to be drop dead gorgeous and so Milla Jovovich was roped in to play the part of Dr. Abigail Tyler. The movie is supposed to be quite creepy so I am guessing the little green men won’t be handing out lollipops and that their agenda in The Fourth Kind has got nothing to do with saving us from ourselves.

Whatever they are up to in Nome, Alaska, I doubt the aliens could have picked a worst spot to fiddle with the population. Even at the height of the tourist season, the sleepy city would find it hard pressed to find enough warm bodies to fill a football stadium. It is obvious that in a place where everyone knows your name, the regular borrowing of the citizens for a little research and development in a flying saucer would not stay a secret for very long.

The aliens would be smarter to organise their hunting parties on any Saturday night in Las Americas. There they could find any number of people who not only would be unlikely to put up much of a fight, they also wouldn’t need much in the way of anesthetic and would be unlikely to remember anything at all the next day.

Among the many other wonders in store during the Tenerife Design Festival 19 to 22 October you can expect the magical flying grass carpet to make an appearance.

The flying grass carpet makes its way from city to city around the globe briefly touching down to let city dwellers play and stretch out on it as well as being a temporary base for a variety of public events.

What a lovely idea. The picture shown is from the carpet’s short trip to Budapest but you can find many more on the Flying Grass website.

The Tenerife Design Festival (TDF) is dedicated to fusing the ‘current trends of design with the main features of the Canarian identity’ and focusses on the three key concepts of local identity, landscape contrast and tourism.

Expect the unexpected during that week as designers from around the world get together to turn Tenerife into a ’seething mass of creativity and design’.

Oooo er. I’m not so sure about the seething mass bit. Whoever wrote the English blurb on the TDF website has done so in that annoyingly arty-farty nonsensical wittering beloved of those who think design concepts have to be drowned in a bucket of words before the rest of us plebs can get the point (or lack thereof).

Here slighty toned down are the descriptions of the TDF sections taken from the Tenerife Design Festival website.

TDFSigno – designers, industry and craftsmen collaborating on new products and ways of development which involve both fresh  ideas and traditional Canarian concepts.

TDFAtmósfera – ominously threatening to ‘involve the public’, TDFAtmósfera promises to bathe Santa Cruz in a wash of exhibitions and urban interventions. If you venture into large spaces within the city during this week in October such as the TEA, La Recova or the port itself expect to be pounced on by a creative installation or two.

TDFLab – three-day workshops for professionals, students and general participants to experiment with different ways to  generate new objects, graphics and interventions in different spaces with a focus on the interaction between design and the Canarian environment.

TDFAward cunningly sponsored by Turismo de Tenerife proposes Tenerife Design Paradise, an international prize, which encourages designers to work on elements that will make up a dream beach of the future.  Based on the idea “Design Paradise” the aim is the creation of products that may be further developed later by the sponsor to enhance the tourism experience.

TDFSolution brings together different professional approaches to spread and support advances in culture, innovation and design. The Symposium will consist of the presentation of works by businesses, local, national and international designers, stirred into action by a critic or analyst. The point of departure will be TDF’s three central concepts: nature, local identity and tourism.

See the Tenerife Design Festival website for more information including a Programme of Events and a Registration page which showing fabulous international creativity is only available in Spanish. According to the translation it seems registrations will not be open till September:

Inscriptions

To participate in various workshops and activities of TDF, you can simply register by filling out a form. In September the program will be more detailed for you to decide which section is more suited to your interests …

But you should be aware: the seats are limited!

So are you all ready for Roddy then? Let’s just hope he didn’t book his hotel through Xcapewithus or he’s on a hiding to nothing. You know, with all the hype and Rod Stewart’s wizened mugshot gurning at you every time you turn around (sorry Gaga, but its true) I am surprised there are seats left. Maybe the concert will be stowed out but here we are late morning on Rod Stewart Eve and it looks like there are still seats aplenty on generaltickets.com.

After the security fiasco of the Elton John concert, don’t be surprised if there are beefy blocks of lard at five foot intervals round a three mile radius of Rod Stewart as he reprises his glory years (and ours, it has to be admitted). It will be like the raptor show at Aguilas Park. Don’t stand up during the show or you will get your head ripped off.

After the last red tartan scarf has fluttered to the floor read the Rod Stewart Concert Review on Joe Cawley’s blog. There is a reason the man is an award winning travel writer and with his Elton John review summarised by the immortal phrase, ‘…sugar and shite’, you can be sure his review will be as gritty and real as the lyrics of Dirty Old Town.

Me? I’m not going. I am waiting for U2

Chicago rock band Wilco are no wall flowers when it comes to embracing new technology. After an illegal release of their latest album ripped through the torrent sites this week – months before official release – they have decided to stream their whole album nattily named Wilco (The Album) through their website.

Brilliant ploy especially as they are now on a concert tour. Given that movie makers and music moguls are squealing the game’s a bogey over their inability to keep the latest releases off the internet at least long enough for a profitable number of mugs to actually buy the damn thing will Wilco’s generosity actually impact positively or negatively on the sales of their record or concert seats? I’m betting positive – it’s one thing to be able to click on and listen to a streaming album on the ‘net but its an even better thing to have the physical product in your own collection.

Anyway, see Wilco in all their living glory at the Tenerife Auditorium on 23rd May or just keep coming back here to replay this little video clip. I don’t mind. It’s not like your disturbing me or anything… The song is Impossible Germany from the Sky Blue Sky (2007) album.

We are only weeks away from The Tall Ships Challenge which I first posted about back in February but apparently according to The Royal Gazette there are still places on board for intrepid whipper-snappers:

The Tall Ships Atlantic Challenge 2009 still has trainee berths available for persons aged 15-30 wanting to take part in a historic 7,000 nautical mile journey across the North Atlantic.

I’m gob-smacked. I would have thought all the positions would have been snapped up ages ago. Desn’t it seem like a wild and romantic, once-in-a-lifetime kind of opportunity to you? Setting off across the Atlantic with the wind in your hair and your heart a-pumping. Sigh.

Kate Winslett would have had nothing on me 15 years ago let me tell you.

Should anyone feel the urge to throw caution to the wind and get to grips with some rigging, then Tall Ships Bermuda is the place to apply.