A punter recently wrote a one-liner in to a UK newspaper which said something like, ‘In its latest cost-cutting exercise, Ryanair has announced that the pilot will be chosen at random from amongst the passengers.’

Famous as they are for tawdry penny-saving schemes (pay 2 pee, carry on hand luggage) their latest effort is so tacky  it beggars belief.

Did they really make a group of young Scots stump up GBP200 to fly their dead friend’s suitcase home, despite them having his ticket (and therefore his seat and luggage allowance) on hand?

Yes, they did.

According to Ryanair spokesman Stephen McNamara (who must be as popular as a dentist with halitosis)  Ryanair have now paid the money back. He said:

Ryanair policy ensures that, if a passenger is affected by bereavement, a refund of their fare and fees will be provided upon application to Ryanair’s customer service department. Ryanair requires a copy of the death certificate to be presented in order to process such a refund. However, we have now refunded the fare and baggage charge to the Visa Electron card used at the time of the booking. Ryanair wishes to pass on its condolences to the family and friends of the bereaved at this sad time.

Oh. That’s okay then.

I wonder how much the airline saves each year by cutting customer service and common-sense to the bone?

The last three months of 2008 saw an improvement in the punctuality of flights leaving the UK according to the Civil Aviation Authority. London Heathrow improved its departure punctuality by 13%, though Edinburgh Airport remains at the top of the league with an on-time performance of 83%.

• Heathrow recorded a 13% increase in punctuality between October and December 2008, but Edinburgh airport was the UK airport with the highest on-time performance

• Every airport surveyed increased its percentage of on-time flights

• Charter flights at Gatwick were the only segment to see an increase in the average delay of flights

Average flight departure delay decreased from 13 minutes to only 4 minutes although flights to  Tenerife had the longest average delay of 24 minutes with an on-time performance of 67%.

Tenerife was also the only charter destination among the top 75 destinations and it attained an on-time performance of 67 per cent and an average delay of 25 minutes.

Stop messing about with your hand luggage you lot and get on the plane already!

January 2009 was a good month for flights to Tenerife and Lanzarote according to Monarch Airlines who report an overall 8.42% increase on bums on seats with these destinations in the top two spots over January 2008.

I wonder was that as Monarch say simply because of the cold snap or because worries about the gathering clouds of recession made some people choose shorter hauls than they would have otherwise?

Like most webmasters, I am always looking for services that might be of use to visitors and that might in return throw the occasional peanut my way. With this in mind and with an eye to bargain basement prices I wanted to find the best supplier for cheap and cheerful flights to Tenerife for the visitors to my destination website, eTenerife.com

So my flight path this morning has been testing out various flight price comparison websites like Wegolo and Terminal A. There are quite a few of these sites and their job is to take your preferred dates and travelling party and run through all the airlines’ prices and schedules before finally coming up with offers ranged by price or convenience (as in direct or stopovers, etc).

While I do use these sites myself to do comparative research before booking flights, I’d have to say you need to go a step further and look into the specific airline’s small print for added charges and fees.

Just as an example, lets pretend that myself and another adult are travelling with two kids to Tenerife in August.

On Wegolo the cheapest outbound for the the family including taxes and surcharges on 4th of August is: €488.04. How did that breakdown?

(What? Why are the kids prices so high?)

The return journey is similar. The cheapest option is €472.12 and the costs were:

Again prices for the kids are just incomprehensible. The airline in both the inbound and outbound flights in these cases is Ryanair, which is currently in the news while the media try and figure out if boss, Michael O’Leary, is kidding about forcing paying passengers to spend a penny if they need to spend a penny on one of his flights.

Oddly enough all you need to do is take a look at the standard fee schedule for Ryanair and Mr O’Leary’s claim that the only reason he is not already charging customers is that Boeing don’t yet offer pay slot mechanisms on their toilet doors as a standard option doesn’t seem so far-fetched. Or so funny.

Keep it up Mr. O’Leary and no family will be able to afford to fly anywhere.

74 passengers abroad Flight UX-196 from Glasgow had a bumpy start to their vacation in Lanzarote this morning as their Air Europa Boing 737 failed to stop on the runway and took them a little closer to the beach than expected.

Emergency services helped the passengers disembark and it was confirmed that no-one was injured. The airport has been temporarily closed so those on later flights to Lanzarote can expect some delays.

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UPDATE: The helpline about this tragedy is +34 800 400 200

A Spanair plane overran the runway in Madrid and caught fire. At least 45 people are dead.

The plane was preparing to take of for Las Palmas.

For more information please see the following reports:

Spanair Accident on Bloomberg

Spanair Accident on Associated Press